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Elder David A. Bednar said, “No
instrumentality or organization can take the place of the home or perform its
essential functions…All human beings, male and female, are created in the image
of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and . . .
has a divine nature and destiny…The great plan of happiness enables the spirit
sons and daughters of Heavenly Father to obtain physical bodies, to gain earthy
experience, and to progress toward perfection…. God has commanded that the
sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman,
lawfully wedded as husband and wife… The means by which mortal life is created
are divinely appointed.” These powers of procreation should not be used outside
the bonds of marriage. It is a sin in the eyes of God to be physically intimate
without a legally binding certificate of marriage.
So why is it becoming increasingly
more common for couples to cohabitate before marriage? Well, if marriage and
the family is God’s main focus, then Satan will do all he can to destroy the
sanctity of it. “Understanding the intent of an enemy is a key prerequisite to
effective preparation” (Bednar). Lucifer wants us to become miserable for
eternity like him. So by knowing his motives and tactics we can become stronger
and defeat him. Having relations outside of marriage causes misery and stress,
which is not what our Father in Heaven wants for us. It also causes many other
problems, which can easily be avoided by staying chaste until the wedding day.
Many people believe that once you’re
married the trials stop there, and your “happily ever after” begins. This
couldn’t be further from the truth. Since marriage and the family is God’s
greatest focus, then Lucifer will never stop trying to tear it down. There are
still temptations when you get married. They will be different temptations from
the ones you had when you were single, but they are still just as dangerous. In
marriage you must unite together and tackle challenges hand in hand.
In a talk by Elder Bruce C. Haven
he talks about the difference between a marriage bound by contract and one
bound by covenant. Elder Haven said, “When troubles come, the parties to a
contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain
benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained
for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work
them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other,
to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50%; covenant
companions each give 100%.”
When you’re
married your old life is gone. There’s no more selfish living. Sacrifice is
real, and reality can feel like a slap in the face sometimes. It’s not easy to
go from carefree college life, only worrying about your own needs and desires,
to marriage, where selfish desires must be shunned and turned away from.
“Each marriage will be tested
repeatedly by three kinds of wolves. The first wolf is natural adversity. The
second is the wolf of his or her own imperfections. And the third wolf being
the excessive individualist that has spawned today’s contractual attitudes”
(Haven).
If you want your marriage to last…
You have to work for it, and you have to work hard.
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