A husband and wife are to unite with one heart and one mind… How is this possible?

In his talk That We May Be One President Henry B. Eyring quoted the prayer Jesus said right before he had to leave his Apostles, “ ‘As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me’ (John 17:18-21). In those few words, He made clear how the gospel of Jesus Christ could allow hearts to be made one. Those who would believe the truth He taught could accept the ordinances and the covenants offered by His authorized servants. Then, through obedience to those ordinances and covenants, their natures would change. The Savior’s Atonement in that way makes it possible for us to be sanctified. We can then live in unity, as we must to have peace in this life and to dwell with the Father and His Son in eternity.” Sometimes in marriage, we get into fights that seem impossible to resolve, people naturally clash sometimes and that is okay. As long as we also realize that turning toward our Savior Jesus Christ and striving to emulate His life will allow us to have a change of heart and be humbled. When our eyes are single to the glory of God we will do all we can to be obedient to Him and live our lives in such a way that we can have eternal life in the Celestial Kingdom. Our desires and wants will change and in so doing we will be united together and have the same focus and goals in mind.

We are not alone…

Not only do we have our Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ helping us but we also have the constant companion of the Holy Ghost. When we live righteously we are blessed with inspiration, comfort, healing, and so much more, by having the Holy Ghost by our side. When we are living a life susceptible to the constant influence of the Holy Ghost, He will help us in our daily interactions with our spouse and others. President Eyring said, “Where people have the Sprit with them, we may expect harmony. The Spirit puts the testimony of truth in our hearts, which unifies those who share that testimony. The Spirit of God never generates contention; it only generates feelings of contention between people, which leads to strife. It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union with others. It unifies souls.” Having one foot rooted in worldly things and one in Godly things does not work. The worldly things cause contention, greed, jealousy, anger, etc. and put a wedge between your relationship with your spouse. Both feet must be planted firmly in the foundation of the Lord for unity to occur.  We must choose to do everything in our power to perfectly obey the Lord and His commandments. President J. Reuben Clark Jr. once said, “The Lord has given us nothing that is useless or unnecessary. He has filled the Scriptures with the things which we should do in order that we may gain salvation.” Being selective of which commandments or council from the Prophets to obey is not acceptable, and will not bring you closer to your spouse or Savior. Strict obedience to all things is a crucial part of the plan. We must surrender our own desires and put our life in the hands of the Lord.

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” 

― Albert Einstein

Men and women are different and designed that way for divine purposes. Regarding differences between people President Stephen L Richards spoke, “…In the spirit under which we labor, men [and women] can get together with seemingly divergent views and far different backgrounds, and under the operation of that spirit, by counseling together, they can arrive at an accord, and that accord… represents the wisdom of council, acting under the spirit.” No matter what your differences are in marriage if discussed in a spiritually minded way unity can occur. Elder Rulon G. Craven described the way the first presidency and quorum of the twelve apostles communicate during meetings. I believe we can all learn much from their example. He says, “I have noticed that each of the Brethren is not so much concerned with expressing his own point of view as he is with listening to the point of view of others and striving to created a proper climate in the Council meetings. They are sensitive to one another’s thoughts and rarely interrupt one another during their conversations. During discussion they do not push their own ideas but try to determine from the discussion what would be best for the kingdom.” If we apply this sort of communication to our own lives, and how we council with our spouse, we will find it much easier to unite in difficult circumstances.